just checkin on my stockz.

sorry for the haitus

or, you know, you’re welcome.

not sayin’. just sayin’.

this picture reads like a do/don’t

meet our adorable cofounder, Sandals McGetshitdone.

people go to great lengths to avoid this blog.

All of toobig's "smug" supporters should read this article on TodayMOMS ›

In the meantime, I’ll be over here skimming over hate mails and finding the hypocrisy in being called a miserable, lonely, friendless, immature, ignorant asshole who needn’t worry about using a stroller someday cause I’m undeserving of someone who loves me enough to impregnate me, by people who find deem me mean and judgmental. The good news is, I’m choosing not to take it personally. coughtryitcough. And instead of defending my integrity, intelligence, general understanding of stroller usage, sarcasm, sense of humor, and capacity for human compassion, I’ll simply state my opinion that if literal explanations were applied to every little questionable thing, then nothing in this world would have room to be funny. Sorry Jerry Seinfeld, airline peanut packages are small because planes have limited storage space.

and Jezebel! I love Jezebel. Let's see what they have to say here.... oh.... well... ok, so... hmmm... ›

so, related: as a whole, maybe we can all take ourselves a little less seriously. i have no doubt you’re a great mom. being a mom is hard work. i have a dog, so you know, i get it.

just kidding. i don’t get it at all. i’m just a kidless twenty-something with a lot of laundry and nothing to eat in my fridge. my point is not to criticize anyone. i’m not really judging you. or your situation. i just happen to think that big kid looks sorta funny in that little stroller. and maybe it’s not funny to you. but maybe stop cursing my ovaries? 

Everyone, thanks for your feedback. love it or hate it, i appreciate the dialogue. and the attention. heartless, childless twenty-somethings love attention.

we're on salon.com! ›

live it up now, kid. those wide knees don’t fly on the subway.